I read Leslie’s fairy tale and it got be wondering. I mean I think it’s great and all but it makes me wonder, did I do something “wrong” by falling in love and getting married, especially so young and with so little experience?
I have to say, “No!”
Do not get me wrong, there are times, when I’m buried under eight loads of laundry, when I’m driving the girls to one of their gazillion activities, when I sit to use the toilet only to be met with … well … things I won’t mention, that I fantasize how nice it would be to just be me – no responsibilities to anyone else, free to go and do when I want and how I want.
Then there are other times, when we’re all sacked out in the family room watching a movie, or playing rummy cube together, or when Chris pushes me harder and faster on the bike (okay at those moments, I do wish he would disappear, but you know what I mean, when we’re having fun together), that I can’t imagine my life any other way. When I was younger, I used to dream what I would change about my life if I could go back in time. I don’t do that anymore, because of the butterfly effect, though there are still things I wish I had done differently, knowing that if I had, I wouldn’t be who I am today, with who I am today, frightens me enough to not even contemplate it.
So what’s the problem? I think the problem is that fairy tales like Leslie’s and stories like mine perhaps foster an us versus them attitude. The single women versus the married – who has the better life? The married women with children versus the married women who decided not to have children – who has the better life? The working women versus the stay at home moms (Sahms) – who has the better life?
And this is why women don’t rule the world (we kind of should, or at least this country anyway, heck we’re the majority). Because we’re so busy judging each other, being caddy and petty towards each other, that we don’t just accept each other and support each other (anyone else remember the chocolate chip cookie fiasco in Bill
Clinton’s presidential campaign)?
I like the song by Avril Lavigne – for the beat or whatever but I hate the message. The idea that one young girl (or woman) would openly steal anothers boyfriend, and it being cool to do so grates on me. It’s against the laws of the “sisterhood” that I really think need to be cultivated.
I’m ranting now and rambling but I just wanted to get that off my chest.
Jerry – I often wonder – but then again I see women with power and sometimes, there’s no difference from their male counterparts – don’t know if it’s b/c they had to get that power in a male-dominated society or if the power does it to them – don’t know. But I just can’t picture women going to war so oten, sure I could see spats between countries where they don’t talk for years, but physical violence ;D?
Leslie, I like that part too but again, which came first, the high self-esteem or the decision not to marry? I don’t think one precludes or generates the other.
Amy, agreed.
Seems to me that that Fairytale laundry list doesn’t contain anything that can’t be done in a marriage. The right marriage or partnership, at any rate.
And I really hate that “us vs. them” thing. I often wonder why the impulse to beat everyone else over the head in order to validate one’s choices. Be comfortable with who you are. There’s no one right or wrong for living a life.
My favorite bit of the “fairy tale” is that she:
‘had high self esteem’
That bit is truly lovely. It’s the bit I like best. Good on her for that.
I bet if women were more in power there would be far fewer problems than there are now! Think about how gender roles have changed in the past 100 years. I’d love to come back in 200 years and see how they have evolved even more!